Jontron I Swear Ill Never Do Drugs Again
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Anti Drug Games - JonTron
[Text in square brackets = text not spoken but shown on screen]
{Text in curly brackets = text both spoken and shown on screen}
(Championship carte du jour shows Jon on a dark alley selling his shady wares to some random kid. A low-cal appears backside them, and they both flee in fearfulness of being arrested. Jacques and then pops his head out from behind the left wall, and the video'south championship appears at the top of the screen, with a subtitle of "[Wally Bear and the No Gang]".)
(Cuts to Jon and Jacques looking at some pictures of John Lennon, George Harrison, Paul McCartney, and Alf on Jon'southward wall above the couch.)
Jon: ...Jacques, you think... is somethin' like... Somethin' off there? You missin' somethin'? Eh, you're right; information technology'south probably okay.
(A packet of seeds falls to the floor. Jon beds down and picks it up.)
Jon: Jacques... what is this? W- Where'd you lot larn to do this?! Have you lot been doing seed?!
Jacques: Back off, quondam-timer. This is absurd stuff.
Jon: Jacques, come up on, human being! You're smarter than this! Winners don't do drugs, remember? Just like all the arcades in the '80s told u.s..
Jacques: When I'yard high, I feel like a winn-her.
Jon: Nosotros gotta become you straight, Jacques. Scared straight!
(Cuts to a prune of A&E'southward Across Scared Straight)
Human: "You come across this comb?! I'mma treat you similar a bitch! You gon comb my grand(bleeeeep)n' chest hair, whenever I tell yous!"
Jon: Okay, mayhap not THAT directly!
Jon (VO): The date is Oct 14th, 1982. Drugs are rampant in the streets of the United States. President Ronald Reagan declares them a threat to national security. The following decades will be shaped by these actions forever, as the war on drugs continues to this very day. The message was clear.
(Old PSA plays)
Man: "Remember! Winners don't do drugs!"
(A skull appears and explodes.)
Jon (VO): Remember when you'd play an arcade game back in the '80s or '90s? It would show you that screen earlier you played the game. Not to mention the numerous D.A.R.Eastward. campaigns that would bout school to school.
Jon: I mean, truth be told, we didn't even give it much thought as kids. I hateful, information technology was merely so ingrained in our collective unconscious. I mean, drugs were such as problem... in the '70s and '80s; by the time nosotros were grown upward, this was just accepted... and expected.
Jon (VO): Anyone living back and then will exist able to recall for you the wealth of PSA's on the topic, arranged from realistic to ludicrous!
(Cuts to another PSA where a begetter is belongings a cigarette carton in front end of his son who is sitting on his bed.)
Begetter: "Who taught you how to do this stuff?"
Son: "...You, alright?! I learned information technology past watching you!"
Jon (VO): (laughs) That- that never gets erstwhile. But that's not even scratching the surface. Have a look at this.
(Cuts to nevertheless another PSA where three surgeons are standing behind an operating table, the beginning of which is seen very conspicuously smoking marijuana.)
Surgeon: (takes puff) "At present... what'due south wrong with you? Tonsillitis?"
Patient: "Appendicitis!"
Surgeon: "Yep?!" (laughs)
Jon (VO): Hey, y'know what? I- I remember you lot got a bespeak in that location! It would be bad if my surgeon was smoking pot while operating on me. Here's a list of other things I wouldn't want him doing: {Anything ELSE BUT MY FUCKING SURGERY}!
Surgeon: "At present, allow's run into if I tin nonetheless make a straight line." (puts on surgical mask and slowly moves scalpel towards camera)
Jon (VO): (laughs) You're really a piece of shit, aren't you? And so, of course, there's the one that lives in infamy.
(Cuts to another PSA where a teacher picks up a pan that has an egg cooking in information technology.)
Teacher: "This is your brain on drugs. (sets pan downwards) Whatever questions?"
Jon: Yeah, I thursday- I recollect I got a few. And so, you're telling me that my brain on drugs is a healthy, nutritious breakfast that helps my encephalon grow?... Shit, I should do some drugs!
Jon (VO): How could the point non have been driven habitation? Even our glory idols were telling us that drugs were the spawn of Satan! It fifty-fifty got to the point when Hanna-Barbera and Peewee Herman were telling us to stay away!
(Cuts to a PSA featuring Peewee Herman sitting in a chair and facing a camera, illuminated by a calorie-free on each side of him. He holds up a small bottle containing a sample of crack cocaine.)
Peewee Herman: "This... is crack."
Jon (VO): Y'know, I'thousand just non sure how to deal with the emotions that come up upward after Peewee Herman tells me about scissure rock cocaine. E- me- eh- th- This guy!
(Cuts to a clip of Peewee Herman performing a silly trip the light fantastic greenscreened over a clip of people dancing.)
Jon (VO): Simply- merely ushered a serious warning to me with that... (zooms into Peewee's face from the PSA) look in his eyes. I d- I- I- This is a state of national emergency.
Jon: Y'see, Jacques? Yous're gonna find out one way or another. You gotta become off this stuff. I hateful, Peewee Herman himself was so upset, he went into a muddied porno theatre and... jacked his wiener right off... Can you blame the man? He was feelin' emotional. He had to go make his dick cry.
Jacques: I'k still not convinced.
(Cuts to yet another PSA commercial where a homo named Ophidian describes what kinds of drugs he specializes in.)
Ophidian: " Heyyyy, picayune dude! Send yo momma and daddy out of the room."
Jon: Oh, I live by myself, thanks. I don't got- I don't have parents anymore.
Ophidian: "Y'all know who I am... Snake. Dealin' in weed, coke, crack; your choice."
Jon: Ane of each, please!
Serpent: "Accept one striking, and you'll do anything to cop more. Steal from yo momma..."
(Jon notices that Serpent's face seems to distort a bit as he talks.)
Jon: Hey, man. Did yous get fleck by, like, a mosquito or somethin'? You don't wait and so good.
Serpent: (now a snake person) " Do I look like the kind of guy that would do that to a kid like you? "
Jon: You Wait LIKE A SNAKE!
Snake: (hissing) "Yessssssssss!"
Jon: WHAT?!? ......... WHAT THE FUCK--?!?!?
Jacques: I'k basically half-reptile, so he simply reminds me of 1 of my brethren.
Jon: ...Okay, yeah, alright. Y- alright. Y- You lot won't make this easy for united states? That'southward fine! We'll take this to the only identify y'all empathise... to the earth of video gaming.
NARC (Arcade)
Jon (VO): In the '80s, arcades were the cool hangouts for kids. They had Galaga, Ass Kong, and of course, difficult drug dealers! At present, what can I say? It was a sign of the times; Pac-Man poppin' pills, Mario'south eatin' mushrooms, and Simon Belmont? Terrible off-screen addiction to heroin. Look at him in Part Four... He could barely hold his whip. It's sad, really. That made arcades a prime target for the anti-drug campaign, which led to the creation of games similar Narc. In this game, you're assuming the office of a narcotics officer named Max... Strength. Oh, and if you become a 2nd player in there, they can play as Hit Man. (chuckling) Lord have mercy. I guess, uhhh, nobody told me cops started doin' wrestler names? I hateful, not that I'grand even upset; I just woulda liked to know. Oh, this is great! Now nosotros can finally teach kids good moral standards!
(Cuts to Narc's gameplay, where a law officer in blue one-hands an assault rifle and a missile launcher, using them to murder identical druggies clad in brown.)
Max Force: "Y'all're busted!"
Jon: (emotional) ...This woulda put a tear in ol' Ronnie Reagan's middle.
Jon (VO): Well, alright. Maybe those guys were just resisting arrest, y'know? I hateful, they had to be dealt with. Later on all, we're but going in there with enough firepower to protect ourselves!
(Max Force fires his missile launcher twice, bravado multiple druggies apart into flaming gibs.)
Jon: {NOT}. {EVEN}. {In one case}.
Jon (VO): That... was amazing! Well, to be honest, I guess they were just trying to portray with utmost realism how nosotros handle drug offenders in this country.
Max Force: "You're busted!"
[YOU'RE Disrepair.]
Jon: Cocaine is really popular with, umm...... the same guy.
(Max Forcefulness is shown killing more than druggies, not all of them identical for once. He fires a missile that blows multiple druggies apart.)
Druggie: {"I Surrender!"}
Jon (VO): Too little, too late, talking leg!
(Cuts to a segment of gameplay on a road where Max Force is in a red car equipped with machine guns and is attempting to drive it, but cannot practice and then without colliding with the multiple dumpsters on the road.)
Jon (VO): I'll exist able to put an finish to this drug ring once I... fi- agh, effigy out how to drive a stick! How's a ye-... What's a- How's a clutch work again?
(Cuts to a screen seemingly inside the car from before. The screen initially shows a screenshot of the last level with the terminal dominate, Mr. Big, in his wheelchair, before Max Force hits some buttons that crusade the screen to show an image of Mr. Big all in green.)
Jon (VO): Finally, you go to the game's adversary, Mr. Big, who'due south plain a- (chukcles) a real good Tokyo Drifter over here! He's got a flick of himself labeled "ME"... Now, there's then many things incorrect with this, I don't even know where to begin.
(Max Forcefulness fires a missile at Mr. Big, which destroys Mr. Big's wheelchair and flings him into the air. Once he lands, he crawls away. Mr. Big'due south flight is shown again, this time accompanies by music to show how svelte it is. A crowd can be heard cheering in the background.)
Jon: (holds up a slice of paper reading "10" semi-crudely drawn) X.
(Cuts to the concluding meet with Mr. Big, who is at present composed of his ain oversized caput, sunglasses, and lid seated in a futuristic platform. Jon looks in consummate atheism, before cutting to the actual fight where Mr. Big has lost his sunglasses and is shooting burn blasts from his eyes.)
Jon: I judge Lou Bega had some hard time getting work later Mambo No. five.
(Cuts to the next phase of the final Mr. Big fight, where Mr. Large twitches a chip before all of his flesh explodes off of him, leaving cipher but his skull anchored to his platform by his rubberband spine. He now attacks by firing his tongue as a projectile that somehow instantly regrows.)
Jon (VO): At present, I've never seen a game become from a perfect nothing to a perfect 10 this quickly... Is this existent life?
Wally Bear and the NO! Gang (NES)
Jon: Jacques, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this for you. Yous gotta become with it. Gotta get make clean. And to evidence you the light of the sober individual, we're gonna accept to have the near farthermost measure possible: playin' Wally Carry and the NO! Gang. Under no circumstances would I do this otherwise. Because it's basically alike to torture.
Jacques: This is madness. Why is that bear not wearing a helmet on his skateboard?
Jon: That'due south besides the point, Jacques! This is officially your intervention.
Jon (VO): Welcome to Wally Bear and the NO! Gang! As you lot can come across, the cartridge is kinda weird because information technology's not officially licensed by Nintendo. As well, on part of the label, there's a circle that says "PRESS Hither". And when you push button it, it plays a Jeff VanVonderen sound seize with teeth.
Jon: (as Jeff VanVonderen): "We're gonna get you lot on a plane goin' to Florida."
Jon (VO): (laughs) I'yard j- I'k merely playin' with ya; it doesn't do jack shit! Why is information technology here?! Who was even out there manufacturing their own NES cartridges, anyway?
Jon: (sniffs) Ah, what is that? (sniffs) Chinese glue? Mothballs? How many kids rented this before, huh?... Probably got a disease now.
Jon (VO): This game was made in 1992, exclusively for a North American audition by American Video Entertainment. They're too known for such other classics every bit Blackjack... Puzzle, and of course, how can we forget Dudes with Attitude?
(Slowly zooms in on the Dudes with Attitude cover equally the screen turns a shade of red and ominous music plays in the background.)
Jon: So in brusque... that's how you know information technology's gonna be practiced.
Jon (VO): Wally Bear and the NO! Gang. Now, I can already encounter him proverb no to society's norms. Now, as you tin can run into, he does not wear his lid straight. No, i- it'due south perfect, because if a drug dealer walks upward to that side of his body, he d- ah- he doesn't have to say no to him; his dress exercise it for him. Ah, what was the color palette on this i? Public restroom? Greens and browns! Jesus Christ.
(Cuts to a cutscene where Wally Bear is having a conversation with his parents.)
[UNCLE GARY GRIZZLY HAS BEEN PLANNING A Party FOR YOU AND THE NO GANG.]
Jon (VO): "Uncle Gary Grizzly has been planning a political party for y'all and the NO! Gang."
(The screen zooms in on Wally Behave's dad, who does not seem to be wearing any form of pants.)
Jon (VO): Uh, hey, dad? I- I know you like to alive your life on the gratis and easy, just you call back you could do- uhhh, do away with the whole no-pants affair 'til after I leave?! Go a pair of due south-... tear-away pants or goddamn annihilation?! For God'south sake!
Jon: Yeah, Wally... I know you you feel. My dad doesn't clothing pants, either.
(An Egyptian canopic jar full of Jon's dad's ashes tips over, knocking the lid off and spilling its contents.)
Jon: DAD!
[INVITE ALL YOUR FRIENDS, AND Endeavour TO REACH HIS HOUSE Earlier Nighttime.
TAKE CARE WALLY, AND REMEMBER TO SAY NO! STAY SMART! DON'T First!]
Jon (VO): "Invite all your friends, and try to accomplish his firm before dark. Have care Wally, and remember to say no! Stay smart! Don't get-go!" Don't start what? Fires?... Ah, okay, no; that's a different bear.
(Cuts to the intro screen of Level 1, showing how many lives the histrion has.)
Jon (VO): Kids, Wally Bear may accept 5 lives, but you but take one.
(Cuts to the gameplay.)
Jon (VO): So, the game starts out in this suburban town. Y'all play as this bear named Wally, who rides his skateboard everywhere! Also, even though you play as an anthropomorphic bear, dogs are nonetheless dogs and birds are still birds. And I mean, I can't blame him for being mad; I'd be pissed likewise if no one transformed me into a radical sunglass-wearing, skateboarding version of myself.
(Wally is hit past a dog enemy and slumps to the ground, looking dizzy before disappearing.)
Jon (VO): Oh God. Seriously, that's it? One hit and yous're dead? If yous die, you accept to get all the fashion back, and each level is, eh- ridiculously repetitive and difficult. I think it's worth noting that GamePro gave this game a 5 out of 5 on the FunFactor and the Challenge. Sister Sinister, you're Total OF SHIT!
(Jon notices a segment of the GamePro magazine on a completely different page detailing the winners of a contest from a previous GamePro issue based around the game Nightshade, which Jon had previously made a video on.)
Jon (VO): Also, looks like they had a Nightshade competition in this issue. Why'd no one tell me? I AIIIIIIIIIIIIIN'T gonna take that sitting down.
(Cuts back to the gameplay.)
Jon (VO): The one saving grace is picking up what I presume to exist a frisbee? Or, uh, perhaps it's a one-way boomerang pie. East- I dunno, somethin' like that. When you lot get it, you can actually shoot the enemies and finally kill them. Even though information technology'due south notwithstanding really hard, 'cause these birds are endless and you lot're just on a skateboard the whole time! Imagine i- d- No, actually, imagine this: if every level in a video game was the ice level ... That's this game! And information technology's got PLATFORMING!
Jon: (slumped dorsum on his couch) Ohhh. My faaaavourite.
Jon (VO): Now, you can really take one extra hit when you lot equip the frisbee. You lot can even simply breeze through some of these levels if you just keep shooting in a straight line. Merely, if yous take whatever impairment, the frisbee goes away and you tin't throw it anymore, so you might also reset. Because this game is almost incommunicable without it. Besides, I think somehow you can stack up to two frisbees in four hits using the skateboard also, but I d- I don't fuckin' know.
(Cuts to a cutscene where Wally Bear is having a chat with a rabbit grapheme.)
[RICKY RAT WAS TRYING TO Become TOBY TURTLE TO Bring together HIS GANG.]
Jon (VO): "Ricky Rat was trying to become Toby Turtle to bring together his gang."... Who's Ricky Rat?... Who's Toby Turtle?!... Who the fuck are Yous?!
[HE SAID TOBY WOULD Take TO Accept SOME PILLS.]
Jon (VO): "He said Toby would accept to accept some pills"?
Jon: Oh, well, maybe I should get talk to Ricky Rat, and then, and get some acetaminophen for the HEADACHE You lot'RE GIVIN' ME RIGHT NOW!
Jon (VO): Yeah, past the way, uh, skateboarding on the train is most definitely encouraged, kids. Eventually, you lot make your mode out of the subway, which was, uh, in the suburbs, may I remind y'all. You observe yourself in some other neighborhood that looks exactly like the final one.
(Wally Bear reaches a building labeled "[Train STATION]".)
Jon (VO): Oh, okay. So y'all're supposed to get into another subway? How many subway connections I gotta brand to go to my uncle'due south firm?! Maybe my parents coulda given me a ride if they weren't and then busy mauling each other's privates. HAAAANES! LEVI'S! DOCKERS! Take a trip to the Gap, dad! It's non that hard!
(Cuts to a segment of gameplay where Wally Bear is continuing outside of a edifice directing labeled "[SUBWAY]", with arrows next to it pointing to the left.)
Jon (VO): Oh, okay. So this subway is a castle... Thi- thi- this one'southward a c- a castle... It'southward a castle. (in the distance) WHAT?!? [WHAT?]
(Cuts to a segment of gameplay where Wally Bear rides past a series of brick buildings. Bats fly around, a dog walks around on the sidewalk and is striking by one of Wally's frisbees, and one particularly disgruntled rat pops out of a window and drops bombs onto the ground.)
Jon: I call back gettin' there earlier night mighta been the least of Wally's worries.
Jon (VO): Hey, Wally. Y'all think yous coulda perchance, y'know, taken a detour around this role of boondocks? This guy'southward literally dropping bombs out of his window... all 24-hour interval. That's- that'southward his task. Homo, I guess the economy really has gotten bad. So, after you get out of the existent, d- actual demilitarized ghetto where no child should ever be , [WTF?] you go into this M. C. Escher garage with a- a cat human! Okay, I- I call up, uh... I call up I might exist gettin' a fleck of a contact high from this.
(The background of the garage within the cutscene becomes a psychedelic rainbow vortex. Jon appears on tiptop of this and raises his artillery, revealing that his easily are hidden away within his sleeves.)
Jon: Where'south my hands?
[I Simply SAW LARRY LIZARD GOING INTO THIS GARAGE.]
Jon (VO): "I just saw... uh, d- Larry Lizard going into this garage"? Okay, wonderful, yet another person I accept no context for.
[HE WAS DRINKING OUT OF A FUNNY LOOKING Bottle, AND ACTING REALLY STRANGE.]
Jon (VO): "He was drinking out of a funny-looking bottle, and acting actually foreign."
[It SOUNDS LIKE LARRY'Southward BEEN DRINKING.]
Jon (VO): "It sounds like Larry'southward been drinking."
Jon: Wow... How do ya get that adept?
[REMEMBER, Even GROWNUPS SHOULDN'T Drink AND DRIVE.]
Jon (VO): (chuckling) "Think, fifty-fifty grownups shouldn't drink and bulldoze."
Jon: Now, this actually needed to be said. I mean, all those drunk-driving kids were tearin' this country apart.
(Cuts to a segment of gameplay where Wally is riding around in a parking garage while what appears to be Larry Cadger is throwing greenish-and-white assurance at Wally from the lowest floor of the garage.)
Jon (VO): Huh... Well, I'll assume this is Larry.
(Wally Acquit throws a frisbee at Larry Lizard, who disappears on bear upon.)
Jon (VO): Oops, I killed him...
(Wally Bear is absent-minded as the level's score is totaled.)
Jon (VO): Moving on.
(The game fades to black, then fades back into a sewer level where pipes interlace with each other above, toxic greenish droplets of liquid fall from the ceiling, and a green serpent slithers around.)
Jon: Alright. I have to admit... This time I've been caught off baby-sit.
Jon (VO): How exactly did that door... (a hand points to a doorway in the parking garage) lead to this?... (every bit Wally'southward dad) "Hey, Wally! Don't forget to take the shortcut to Uncle Gary Grizzly's through the serpent cave! It'southward right after the- uh, it's- it'due south comin' to me, uh, information technology's the bomb ghetto? Aye, you'll discover information technology. Don't worry about it." This role, is IMPOSSIBLE. At that place are only and then many things, and there's huge platforming pitfalls everywhere. It would take anyone many, many tries to fifty-fifty go through this part. And don't forget: everything is an water ice level! How did this teach kids annihilation when they couldn't even get to the cease of the game to larn the freakin' bulletin?!
(Wally Bear encounters a foreign door within the sewer. Jon looks on in confusion.)
Jon (VO): What the fuck is this supposed to Exist?! This game has a chronic condition of never explaining anything! Two minutes ago, nosotros were in the suburbs; now we're... what? Takin' a stroll through Nikolai Tesla'southward underground underground LAIR?!?! Manifestly, according to Wally, I gotta infiltrate a freakin' fortress just to get to my uncle's firm!
(Wally Behave passes through the door and enters a very non-sewer-like room where the floor is just water, brick pillars rise up from said water every bit platforms, and a very foreign construction extends along the wall that features men's faces surrounded on either side by columns with vines twisting effectually them. The faces themselves spit globs of green gunk at Wally.)
Jon: What the fuuuuck??? I hope I'll never practise drugs once more, dad.
Jon (VO): By the way, this is literally the only room in the entire game that's like this. Information technology's- It's so out of place. Freakin' Play-Dohs up here hockin' loogies downwards at me while I'm tryin' to... balance atop pillars on a fucking skateboard! Ladies and gentlemen... this is art. At that place's a 1000000 doors here and there's only ane of them that leads to the WAY OUT!!! To get past this part, you just gotta proceed relentlessly scaling the castle and trying doors until you find the right i. Come up on, come on, come on - YES! Oh, finally!
(The game fades to black again, and so fades back to a cutscene within a foreign corridor where a character of unknown species talks to Wally Bear.)
[WATCH OUT FOR A MAN GIVING Away CANDY.]
Jon (VO): "Watch out for a human giving abroad candy."
Jon: Uh, a- are you lot enlightened that our city has an UNDERGROUND... DEMON... FORTRESS IN IT?! And east- wh- I- apparently, the subway... just passes right through that shit! M- m- gimme the man... Gimme the man correct now. I'll t- I'll take the fucking candy right off his hands. 'S amazing compared to what I've only been through!
(The game fades from black into a segment of the game where Wally is standing outside of another subway edifice.)
Jon (VO): Oh! Okay! Yeah, that'south fine! I j- allow's only resume then, huh? Dorsum to business equally usual! Just tryin' to play it cool after the shit I've seen! Just gonna continue this surreptitious, dainty and tucked away in my soul until information technology burns a Hole THROUGH Information technology! This must exist what Buzz Aldrin felt similar when he got back from the moon.
(Wally Bear rides through another area of brick buildings until he comes one that has an arrow flashing above its front end door, pointing at information technology. The game's music cuts out immediately equally Jon begins talking)
Jon (VO): Wait... this? I gotta go in in that location? What is this, a scissure den? I thought I was supposed to be gettin' off drugs! This house'due south windows are broken. It doesn't even look like anyone's inhabited it for years. Likewise, the neighboring house is just completely blown up. Merely blown half upwardly. Alright... Here goes nothin'.
(Wally Acquit enters the edifice, and the game enters a cutscene where Wally's uncle Gary Grizzly greets him.)
Jon: Is that...... Is that- Is that my uncle? Is this my uncle?
Jon (VO): Oh, cipher incorrect hither! Just my uncle happens to alive in Mad Max and no one thought it was advisable to TELL me! So, tell me; what'due south this, uh, what's this award here on your shelf for? For, uh, stayin' alive this long? And I'm not fifty-fifty gonna annotate on your pants situation, considering the squalor you lot live in is astounding. Does anyone know you live here? Practice you get... Practice you get running water and electricity?... Can you lot even afford pants?
[I SEE You'VE BROUGHT A NEW FRIEND.]
Jon (VO): Well, what do you mean "new friend"?... I didn't bring a friend.
Jon: That me he's talkin' almost?... Am I the new friend?... I- I didn't ask for this.
(The game ends with one final cutscene where Wally Acquit continuing triumphantly every bit his friends stand in the background and balloons float in the air.)
[E'er Think, IF SOMEONE TRIES TO Make Y'all Practice SOMETHING,]
Jon (VO): Well, that- that's it? That... tha- that's the whole party? Just this... 1 slide where it looks similar my face had an organization with the pavement?
Jon: (sniffs) ...Aw, I'm restless... I can't deal... I gotta relax.
Jacques: Then get ganja with the air current.
Jon: ...That wasn't fifty-fifty funny... Alright, screw it, gimme a toke. (gets upward)
(While getting high, Jon lays on his burrow watching a video made past conspiracy theorist Bart Sibrel where Bart encounters Buzz Aldrin and attempts--and fails--to become Fizz to admit the Apollo eleven moon landing was faked.)
Bart Sibrel: "--didn't... Callin' the kettle blackness. If I e'er idea of- saying I misrepresented myself?"
Buzz Aldrin: "You... go away from me..."
Bart Sibrel: "Y'all're a coward, and a liar... and a (gets punched past Buzz) thief--!
Jon: (high off his ass) That guy went to the moon.
Outro
Jon: Thanks for watching JonTron. And if you lot wanna support the bear witness, yous tin can help united states of america out by signing up for a 30-day trial at Audible.com at this link: Audible.com-slash-JonTron. If yous sign up right now, y'all go a complimentary audiobook, and you can abolish whatever time. My recommendation to you this month is Hitchhiker'due south Guide to the Galaxy, narrated past Stephen Fry. He'south a funny motherfucker. I mean, this testify is really expensive to brand! (holds up canopic jar from before) This is a real Egyptian urn! Toll me $20,000, came with Nefertiti'south dead cat inside! Which I'm aware, by the mode. That'southward a steal for the toll.
Jon (VO): Don't forget to subscribe and follow me on Facebook and Twitter. If you wanna spotter more JonTron, here are some suggestions. And also, the link for Aural.com is in the description. See ya!
Source: https://jontronshow.fandom.com/wiki/Anti_Drug_Games/Transcript
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